Impact Wrestling Review: 2-21-2013
Starting off the show, Hulk Hogan comes out and names Bully Ray the #1 Contender for the World Title: This makes no sense. What was the point of having 8 guys fight last week for a shot at the title if Hogan was just going to come out and declare Bully Ray the #1 contender anyway? This is what irks me sometimes about TNA. It's the lack of logic. Also, Bully Ray makes a 6-man tag with him, Sting, and Hulk Hogan taking on 3 members of Aces and Eights in the main event. So, TNA gives away a rare Hulk Hogan match on free tv, but of course we all know Hogan can't wrestle so they'll find some way to weasel out of Hulk actually wrestling.
Normally, this wouldn't be a bad thing if they built up to Hogan's in-ring return (even if he doesn't end up wrestling) over the course of a couple of weeks, but instead they just announced it for later that night with ZERO promotion or forethought. This is a fundamental difference between WWE and TNA. WWE would've built up the in-ring return of Hulk Hogan for at least a week in order to promote it to create buzz which leads to higher ratings. TNA on the other hand, just brings it up on Impact on the fly like it's just another match. In WWE, that could be a Wrestlemania moment... in TNA... it's just an unpromoted throwaway match on Impact.
James Storm, Hernandez, Chavo, and Joseph Park vs Bobby Roode, Austin Aries, Kaz, and Daniels: I actually found myself rooting for the heels because they are just a much more entertaining group. The faces were victorious, but I didn't really care much that they won. The best part of this was just before the match Kaz and Daniels talked to Roode and Aries. Daniels and Kaz threw up the "Fortune" sign and told Roode "Remember this?"
Rock Star Spud vs Robbie E: Throwaway match that Spud won to send the British crowd home happy. Afterward, Robbie T. gets fed up with Robbie E. Is this the end of the Robbie E/Robbie T as a team? Sadly, the build to this Robbie T face turn has been better than most main eventer face/heel turns in WWE or TNA. Just interesting to note that.
Next up: a Knockouts Championship Elimination Match...
Velvet Sky vs Tara (c) vs Miss Tessmacher, vs Gail Kim: This line-up puts WWE's entire Divas division to shame. WWE wishes their Divas Division was this stacked. One thing I've noticed about Velvet Sky is that she's still doing the "Beautiful People" gimmick by herself. In other words, in 5 or 6 years her character hasn't really added any new wrinkles or layers. That's not necessarily a bad thing... just worth mentioning. Tara has reinvented herself recently with the addition of boyfriend Jessie Godderz. Tara is actually a little more interesting now because her character was starting to get a little stale. I give her credit for continuously evolving her TNA character over time. Most Divas/Knockouts never really evolve their characters. Anyway, Brooke Hogan comes out to watch this match for some reason. This match was actually pretty amazing for a women's match. I encourage anyone who hates TNA to watch this match and then look me in the eye and tell me that WWE's Divas matches are better. The WWE Divas matches are not in the same league as TNA's knockout matches. Velvet Sky wins the match and the Knockouts Championship.
Backstage Locker Room Scene with Hulk Hogan, Bully Ray, and Sting: Typical younger star (Bully Ray) in awe of teaming with all-time greats like Hulk Hogan and/or Sting. One thing I noticed about TNA in this scene that makes them come off cheap is that Sting's name tag on his locker room door was a printed off piece of computer paper that said Sting. WWE usually has some sort of plaque or name plate so to see TNA using computer paper for locker room name plating seems kind of 2nd rate.
Video package recapping Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff turning heel against Kurt Angle: I still don't care about this story arc, but it does make Garett Bischoff more tolerable to watch as a member of Aces and Eights. Aces and Eights may be a 3rd rate gang, but they still make Garett Bischoff seem cooler than he previously was which says more about how boring Garett is/was.
Garett Bischoff of Aces and Eights vs Samoa Joe: I like Garett as a person, but I've never liked how Garett has been pushed since he got to TNA. However, I think Aces and Eights is actually a good thing for Garett because it gives Garett some sort of individual pro wrestling identity instead of being that inexperienced guy who only got pushed because his dad has stroke in TNA. This is a match that I don't really care about because neither character has done anything great in years. Just as Samoa Joe was going to win, Wes Brisco interferes and Aces and Eights start double teaming Samoa Joe. Kurt Angle makes the save as Garett and Wes run way. Maybe it's just me but Wes Brisco in Aces and Eights looks more like a member of Raven's Flock. Anyway, Angle makes a match between himself and Wes Brisco in a steel cage at Lockdown. What is with guys just willy nilly being able to make matches lately? What's the point of having a General Manager if the wrestlers are just making up their own matches as they go along?
Next up X-Division Championship Match...
Rob Van Dam (c) vs Kenny King: I'm still trying to get the big deal the IWC makes about Kenny King. Do I think he is a great wrestling talent? Sure, but for all his wrestling skills I haven't seen much from him gimmick or promo wise. He really has no gimmick. He's just a generic heel with great wrestling ability. He needs to do more gimmick/promo wise to set him apart from all the other generic X-Division competitors. RVD defeats Kenny King with a 5-Star Frog Splash to retain the X-Division title. A decent match... nothing special though.
Main Event Time...
Hulk Hogan, Sting, and Bully Ray vs Aces and Eights (Devon, Mr. Anderson, and D.O.C.): Everytime I see Anderson in Aces in Eights I just think Anderson is better than being an Aces and Eights lackey. Sting comes out to a huge pop. Bully Ray comes out to a mediocre pop. Hulk Hogan's music hits, but he doesn't come out. Mike Tenay erroneously states that Hulk Hogan has never backed down. I guess Tenay forgets all the years Hogan ran away when he was running the nWo in WCW. Aces and Eights try to get the jump on Sting and Bully, but Bully/Sting take control even though the match has turned into a handicap. Just as Sting/Bully are about to win Wes Brisco/Mike Knox bring out Brooke Hogan and Hulk. Hulk Hogan is clenching his knee on the entrance ramp. Despite all of this Sting locks in the Scorpion Deathlock only to be booted in the face by D.O.C. The Aces and Eights pick up the victory and pummel Sting as Bully Ray apparently abandons Sting to go check on Hogan on the ramp. Aces and Eights then celebrate in the ring as the show goes off the air.
In conclusion: This episode was all about putting over Brooke and Hulk Hogan. I saw Hulk Hogan more than anyone else on the show, and the end of the show was all about Hulk Hogan. Where was Hogan? What happened to him? The main event storylines are all about Hulk Hogan right now for some reason. I also guess that on Impact Wrestling any wrestler has the authority to just book themselves to face whoever they want because I watched Kurt Angle and Bully Ray do it. Doesn't Bully Ray and Kurt Angle giving themselves the ability to book matches defeat the entire purpose of a General Manager or authority figure? I also laughed at the end of the show as Bully Ray completely left Sting to get pummeled by Aces and Eights in order to check on Hulk Hogan who was already being tended to by Brooke. If I was Sting I'd be ticked if my partner left me to get beat on by 5 guys. This was just a very sloppy edition of Impact. I always enjoy the Wembley Stadium Impact episodes but that doesn't change the fact that creatively many aspects of this episode of Impact made little to no sense.
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